If you’re anything like me, you’ll have pictures in your photo album of
people you don’t like. Remember that work leaving-do when that guy from
accounts snuck into the picture and put his arm around you? You always hated
that guy, didn’t you? Yet there he is in your photo album along with all your
friends and loved ones.
What I recommend doing to resolve this unfortunate
issue is this. Cut out the heads of celebrities from magazines and paste them onto your photographs
over the heads of the people you’d rather forget you once knew. Then when
you’re looking at your photos, instead of remembering Dave from accounts and
how much you hated him, instead you’ll go: Oh look, it’s me and all my friends.
Oh and Jennifer Anniston.
NB: WHAT TO DO IF THE ONLY CELEBRITY HEAD AVAILABLE IS KERRY KATONA
If the only celebrity head you have available is Kerry Katona, don’t worry,
all is not lost. What I suggest doing in this eventuality is pasting
Kerry Katona’s head over YOUR OWN head. Then when you look at your photos,
you’ll go: Oh look, there’s Dave from accounts. And he’s got his arm around Kerry
Katona! I always knew he was a moron, and here’s the proof!
Simple. Easy. Foolproof.
"At his best Jeffreys writes memorable, perturbating prose with an overwhelming sense of menace. The stories stay with the reader, touching something in the psyche that is both troubling and intriguing." Bristol Review of Books.
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